don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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