Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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