I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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