I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
