You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
