worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
