I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
