He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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