My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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