Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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