I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
