i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I need to calm my uterus...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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