PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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