is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
