i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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