He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
