i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...