Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.