well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.