I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
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I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction