I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.