I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
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he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
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javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out