I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.