yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize