well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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