Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
