and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
