I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
