i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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