how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
