walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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