A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
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If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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