are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Randomize
