Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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