It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
