and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
