whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
