that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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