i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
