Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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