I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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