I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
