sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
