this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
