just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
