Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
