I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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