oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
