I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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