So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
