I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
