Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize