Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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