Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
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The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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