For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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