does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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