I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
