found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
