I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize