Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Randomize
