halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
