i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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