That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He is an equal opportunity slut.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
